charlaanne

Today Galin would have been 46.

He was the love of my life...the one who made my world go round. I wish I could celebrate with him in heaven. Each day that passes is one day closer to the day I get to see him again.

Celebrating Jaxson Day

It has already been a year since we adopted Jaxson! We celebrated the special day with an indoor picnic. Jaxson invited his favorite stuffed toys and we served some of his favorite snacks.

Galin wrote this letter to Jaxson the day we adopted him...

Dear Jaxson, 
I only met you about a year ago but I cannot imagine life without you. You very quickly made your way into the deepest part of my heart. You have grown so much. You have learned to trust and love us. 

You came and stayed with us for nine days while your foster family went on vacation. After you left, I realized how much I already loved you. I would catch myself thinking about you so often. I would just be daydreaming about the future and you were in all those daydreams. On our evening walks so many times Momma and I ended up talking about you. We wondered what you were doing and how you were doing. We finally asked our licensing worker and she said she would check into your situation. She found out you needed a new home and I was so thrilled when I heard you were coming back to live with us! 

I just felt from early on that God had a bigger plan He was working on than we could see at the time. As time went on I became more and more convinced God worked out every little detail in bringing you into our lives. 

We found out in September of last year that you needed a family to adopt you and when your case worker asked if we wanted to, we said, “YES!” with no questions. 

March 22 became the big day that we were officially made your forever family and you officially became our little boy. 

I am looking forward to each day as you grow older. I am praying I get to watch you grow up and witness all the big days in your life - your first day of kindergarten, the day you get your driver’s license, your first vehicle, the day you graduate, your first girlfriend, your wedding day... 

Most of all I pray I get to witness the most important day of your life - the day you accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior. When that day happens, it will change the rest of your life. 

I am so happy that God has allowed me to be your Daddy and you to be my little buddy.  

I love you so much,

Daddy 

You can read about his adoption day here. 

These pictures were taken a year ago.

I miss our old house. I wish I could walk through the front door and Galin would be there to welcome me home.

I miss sitting on the porch swing with Galin, watching the kids play as the sun went down. I miss walking down the country road holding hands while we talked about our day. I miss waking up each morning with him by my side. 

Everything is gone now. There is only an empty field where our house used to sit. 

It reminds me that this world is not my home. Right now life feels long and hard but someday all this pain will be forgotten. Someday I will be with Galin again and I will truly be at home.

January 28, 2020

Is the day Jack Galin entered the world. 

I walked inside the same hospital doors that I had walked into several months earlier with Galin by my side, ready to start his chemo treatments.

This time I walked alone, going to meet my grandbaby. My heart felt like it was breaking all over again as I thought about experiencing such an important milestone without Galin. 

As soon as I saw Jack’s precious face I was okay. I love this little boy more than life. He has my heart.

The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. Job 1:21

November 25, 2019

Another life changing date in my life. My oldest daughter’s wedding day. 

I remember having a conversation with Brittany right after she got engaged. We agreed that if Galin’s cancer was in remission we would be crying happy tears at her wedding and if the new cancer treatment wasn’t successful, it would be a scary time because there weren’t any other good treatment options. I don’t think it ever crossed our minds that he wouldn’t even be here to walk her down the aisle. 

After he died, our hearts just weren’t into planning a wedding so Brittany and Clint decided to have a small private ceremony. 

They are always up for an adventure and their wedding day was no exception! 

We got up while the stars were still shining bright and hiked to their wedding location. We had to use the flashlights on our phones to light the way, because someone forgot to bring flashlights (me;) They got married at sunrise with only a few guests in attendance. 

Watching my son give Brittany away is a moment I will never forget. I thought she looked like a princess and watching her marry the love of her life took my breath away. 

Before she left on her honeymoon, she whispered, “I love you more than just about anyone on earth!” I feel the same way about her. 

The heart sewn on her wedding dress was from one of Galin's shirts. 

All photos taken by the incredibly talented photographer, Grace Bunch. You can view more of her work here.

Christmas 2019

I woke up Christmas morning thinking about our last Christmas with Galin and it made my heart ache for what used to be. The rest of the day, I tried my best to keep my mind on the present instead of the past. We decided to forgo our old traditions and start a few new ones. 

Brittany and her new husband, Clint, were able to join us in Florida for Christmas. We sure missed Matt and Jerusha. They stayed close to home because their baby is coming soon!

Brittany and I made a Starbucks run to pick up everyone’s favorite coffee drink. We had a gingerbread house decorating contest, made our own personal pizzas, played games, and spent the evening at the beach. We ended the day with our favorite ice cream and a Christmas movie. I sure am thankful for my kids! What a gift from God they are.

2019 brought the darkest, loneliest, and hardest days of my life.

I lost my first grandbaby, my home, and the love of my life. It brought me to my knees and made me wonder if I would ever breathe again. 

I learned that people can smile and laugh even when their heart is broken. 

Life can feel so lonely even when you are surrounded by people.  

A grateful heart can brighten the darkest night. 

My kids counting on me to show up is enough of a reason to keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

God gave me the world’s best support system. 

God's not finished with me yet. 

I am God’s child and there is no greater blessing than that. 

Photos taken by my oldest daughter, Brittany.

The little kids wanted to wear their new Christmas pjs to the beach:)

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love, care, prayers, and heartfelt words. I will never be able to express how much it means to me. Much love to each of you. Charla

A few months ago,

I decided it might be easier if we did something completely different for Christmas this year. I found a little place for us to stay on the beach. I believe this is Jaxson’s first time to see the ocean and he is in love with it! He has thanked me many times for bringing him here! 

Every day I have fun and then I cry because my favorite person isn’t here having fun with us. I sit alone and watch the little kids play in the ocean and it breaks my heart knowing Galin won’t be able to watch them grow up. 

My life is a far cry from what I had envisioned but being here has been good for my soul. For the first time since Galin died, I feel like taking pictures. 

I am thankful for that. 

xox
Charla