A few weeks ago I went on a little weekend trip with my two oldest daughters, Brittany and Kayla, so we could spend some quality time together before Brittany’s wedding day. It was such a special time and truly felt like a gift from God. Spending time with them is one of my favorite things on this earth.
xox
Charla
He was the one person I could talk to about anything. I miss the closeness and comradery we shared. I ache with longing for it.
Thankfully, I know Someone who will never leave me. He is strong when I am broken. He calms my anxious heart. He always welcomes me into His presence.
Jesus is His name.
What a privilege it is to be His.
Photos taken earlier this year. I have not felt like picking up my camera since Galin died.
God has told us that He loves us and is all powerful but there are times my hurting heart can’t reconcile the fact that He could have healed Galin but He chose not to. He brought him home even though my children and I needed him here so much.
That is when I choose to trust Him. I choose to believe what He says is true. I choose to believe He will work everything together for good even when I can’t see it. I choose to take Him at His Word. I don’t want my love for God to be dependent upon my circumstances. No matter what He is worthy of all my worship and praise.
photos taken March 2019
Remember me sharing that Lily started writing letters to Galin after he died? Every day she would write in her ‘Daddy Diary’ and tell him what she was up to. She recently told me she quit doing that because it was too hard.
I asked if she would like to write to me instead and she loved the idea. Since then the two of us have been writing questions back and forth. She asks me a question about any topic (most of the time it is a question about Galin) and after answering it, I ask her a question. I feel like it has been such a good thing for both of us. Some of her questions and answers really make me stop and think. Here are some of the questions she has asked recently…
What did you love most about Daddy?
How does it make you feel when you think about Daddy?
5 things you’re grateful for that you did with Daddy.
Tell me about when you were with Daddy and you never wanted it to end.
How do you feel when we visit Daddy’s grave?
If he could come back for one more day, what would you do?
Here is my answer to her last question…
“Stare at him. Hug him...kiss him...ALL DAY LONG. Tell him how much I love and adore him. Thank him for being the most incredible husband to ever walk this earth. Go on a walk and hold his hand the whole time. Eat lunch at one of our favorite places. Lay out under the stars and hug and kiss some more.”
photo taken by Kayla March 2019
God was so good to give Jaxson a cousin so close to his own age. These two were born 10 days apart and they became the best of friends the day they met!
As the first excavator started tearing down what was left of our house Jaxson said, “now I only have one stuffed animal” and without a moment's hesitation, James spoke up and told Jaxson he could have June Bob.
I have heard a lot about June Bob and happen to know that particular stuffed animal was James’ most treasured earthly possession and went everywhere with him. I am so proud of my little nephew who has already learned at such a young age that it is more blessed to give than to receive.
Jaxson and June Bob
Here a few drone photos of our home that was destroyed by a tornado in April. They were taken by my nephew, Tyler.
shared at Galin’s funeral.
Dear Daddy,
No matter what trial or terrible tragedy you faced, you never once had a negative view about any of it and never uttered a word of complaint to anyone. In fact, in the midst of the most devastating events life could throw your way, you somehow still maintained a positive view about everything. You only saw the best in every situation and every person — even when they didn’t see the good in themselves. You had the most positive outlook possible in life — it simply was not natural.
You were a man of integrity to the core; nothing — absolutely nothing — could shake that. You were the most consistent, dependable, steadfast, & unwavering man. You were my steady rock through all of life’s crazy turns & changes. You were the greatest peacemaker. You were my go-to for wisdom & advice for all of my crazy questions & ideas. You really were not interested in any personal interests or hobbies — everyone else’s were your own. No matter what I was passionate about, you were just as invested & interested as I was. You were my encourager through all of the difficult & trying times.
Your dying wish was for as many people as possible to experience the overwhelming love & joy that you experienced. You showed exceptional strength & constantly demonstrated selfless love to everyone around you and it was only possible because of Jesus. You would love it more than anything else for others to know the all-surpassing joy, strength, & love that you came to know so intimately.
Life was cut short way too soon for you but you ran the race set before you with incredible vigor, determination, endurance, and passion. I know that the moment you met your Maker, He said to you, “Well done, good and faithful servant”. You trod the path so well for me to follow and I intend to run tirelessly in your footsteps to meet you soon.
I love you more than words could ever express.
Your son,
Matt
A memory that will always stand out to me about my Dad was when I had just gotten my license and he let me drive his truck around. One day I accidentally scraped a big dent into the side of the truck when backing out and called him crying. He laughed a little and told me something along the lines of, “Britt, it’s okay. I’m not mad or upset. I have no emotional attachment to vehicles or possessions. I could care less about that as long as nobody is hurt and you’re okay.” He taught me from a young age to hold things loosely and hold people tightly and I will always be thankful for that. - Brittany
Dear Daddy,
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! My brain is going a million miles per hour thinking of this new life, things I wish I would have done, and things happening in the future. One of my first thoughts was that you will not be able to walk Brittany, Lily, and I down the aisle at our weddings.
You have helped me through so many hard times. Your advice and wisdom blew me away sometimes. I will miss all your analogies and corny jokes. I want to give you so many more hugs. I want to hear your voice so badly. I want to pick up my phone and talk to you. My heart yearns for a little while longer with you. I wanted so badly for you to get better. I begged God to heal you, but His answer was no, and that is ok. God is still good. I have you and Momma to thank for teaching me that. You have shown me what it means to be a Christian. Your unwavering faith and optimism was astounding. You were the best dad ever. Every single memory of you is positive. How many people can say that? Thank you for showing me what a father and husband should look like. Thank you for loving God and our family so much.
I love you beyond the moon and back.
Kayla
I loved going to father/ daughter dances with you. I especially loved our dances together.
I love you so much.
Lily
I got to ride trucks with him. I got to ride tractors with him. I got to be with him for his birthday. We got to sing happy birthday to him and have family time. Daddy loved me so much. - Jaxson
xox
Charla
This is the first year I have gotten to be with Jaxson on his birthday. Last year Galin and I were in Mexico for cancer treatment and the year before that I had not even met him yet. It makes me sad to think Galin never got to be with him for a single one of his birthdays.
The morning of his special day I heard singing when I woke up. I listened carefully and realized he was already awake and singing happy birthday to himself. It made me smile.
His special day included pancakes with sprinkles, a date to the donut shop, making a stuffed animal at Build a Bear, a new bike, and his favorite Japanese restaurant for dinner.
When he saw his new bike he fell on the floor without saying a word. I do believe it was the first time in his life that he was speechless.
I sure do love this little boy. I can hardly believe he is mine. He is a handful and the most cautious child I have ever known. He soaks up attention and reminds me often how much he loves me.
I’ve adored him since the day we met. How blessed I am to be his momma.
xox
Charla